I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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