she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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