You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
