Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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