I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
