Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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