Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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