Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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