Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize