Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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