someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
