also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
