you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
soo... how was my night?
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