That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
