Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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