What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
