genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
