Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She told me I should be a condom model.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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