JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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