VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
