It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
