idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
