no, he came in my armpit
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
