My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
