party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
