We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
