I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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