i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The Olympian is in my bed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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