my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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