Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
barbara walters just said penis...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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