You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
