We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
