If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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