i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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