so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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