dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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