hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My ass is underappreciated
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
