on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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