Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
