yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You are the jesus of drinking
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
