also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
