I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
