I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
