Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
