Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
