If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
