My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
