You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
