You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
