nut hugger
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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