At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
