I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
