My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
