but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
