You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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