: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
