Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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