she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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