First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
