omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You've changed since you got that strap on
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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