I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Mom said you looked used
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize