brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize