Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
one two three fourrrrnication!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
