a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize