butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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