Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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