4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
