is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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