She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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