Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
