and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
