Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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