I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize