At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
