what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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